Getting Rid of Creme Egg Calories (in less than a week)

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If you have been eating Cadbury’s Creme Eggs by the dozen this Easter, then I expect that today you are feeling slightly sick, that your skin is greasier than usual, and that you cannot bear any kind of restriction around your waistline and you have worn your old maternity clothes/’empire-line’ dress/’fat jeans’ to work.

I feel for you. So here’s a trick: (entirely irresponsible, possibly dangerous health-wise and completely lacking in any kind of scientific backing, apart from the fact that I’ve done it and it works!) The Special K with Berries 6-day Starvation Plan!
It works like this: take a box of Special K with Berries and some semi-skimmed milk (if you haven’t tried this particular gastronomic treat yet, then just envisage chewing a bowl full of cardboard with some pot-pourri chucked in). For six days, you must forgo your usual breakfast and instead chew your way through a 30g serving of this monstrous mix. You are allowed 125ml of semi-skimmed milk (hallelujah!) to wet the flakes so that they don’t stick in your throat and kill you.
If you replace six breakfasts, then you have pretty much waved goodbye to the extra calories you piled on from a six-pack of Creme Eggs.
Oh-ho-ho….six, I hear you say? Try twelve! Try eighteen! Well, if you ate twelve, then you need to be thinking about swapping your lunch for a bowl of this culinary delight, and if you ate eighteen? If you ate eighteen, then just let me say that you won’t have to be making any difficult decisions regarding your meals this week; it’s Cardboard Flakes all the way for you!
Of course, I jest – please don’t go starving to death on me, people; you can supplement the crazy Creme-Egg Plan with unlimited amounts of celery, cucumber, chewing gum and cigarettes.
One Response to "Getting Rid of Creme Egg Calories (in less than a week)"
  1. Jessica Elizabeth says:

    HAHAHAA. This did make me giggle.

    Loveeee this website, found it after I Googled you after watching some Old School 4OD and found that documentary about you and Erin O’Connor (and the other girl who liked backpacks). Best Google I have ever done.
    It’s really lovely to see that someone can be exposed to such a harsh industry for so long and yet still maintain a (brilliant) sense of humor, intelligence and humanity. Cheers to Google, and your website, and 4OD and obviously you. Xxxx

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