Superfast, Emergency Body Overhaul!

On Monday I have to go to the agency to have lingerie polaroids done for a big job, and I will hold my hands up and admit it: I have slightly let myself go. Only a little bit – we’re not talking drastic weight-gain here, just a slight – what I like to call – ‘softening’ of the body in all the important places. I’m not as tight and toned as I’d like to be. This is partly due to the ‘No Gym’ experiment, which has gone on a little longer than planned, and it’s partly due to the fact that over the last year I have probably increased my time sat down in front of a computer screen by about 800%. There are a lot of sedentary hours.

So I have two days and here’s what I’m going to do in order to look longer and leaner in the shortest possible space of time. (Note: this is not some kind of radical weight-loss regime, you know I don’t approve of those! I just want to eliminate bloat and look my best. I’m going to be consuming the recommended calorie intake and doing everything in a safe and healthy way. Blah blah blah.)

1) I shall be cutting out added salt. Salt causes water retention and I really do not need to be retaining any water at the moment!

2) I’ll be trying to not drink any alcohol. Unfortunate that I have two evening gatherings where the wine will be free-flowing, but sometimes these sacrifices have to be made!

3) I’ll not eat any rubbish. I don’t eat much rubbish anyway, but I’m not going to partake in anything remotely stodgy or fatty. It’ll be lean meats, fresh salads, you get the picture.

4) Exercise. I am going to go to the gym twice – once today, once on Monday before the polaroid session. Hopefully the short sharp shock to the muscles will make them look suddenly toned and prominent against the backdrop of untoned flesh… Here’s hoping!

5) Body Brushing. Upped to twice daily – I may have no skin left by Monday!

6) Dr Stuart’s Slim Plus Tea. I have not the foggiest clue whether this might help, but what I do know is that it stops me from drinking Ribena/Elderflower Cordial/Orange Juice.

7) Every slimming and anti-cellulite cream that I have in my arsenal is going to be slathered upon my person. I’m talking head-to-toe. With all that topically-applied caffeine I’m probably going to be a jittering, juddering wreck with a stammer.

8) A spray-tan. It has been seven years since I had a spray-tan (or even used fake tan!) so I’ll be interested to see how the techniques have changed! The healthy glow will (hopefully) make me look leaner and sexier.

So! Let’s see how we get on, shall we? It’s a tough call, but it has been done before. I have measured and weighed myself, poked and prodded ready to share with you the full before-and-after details next week. Wish me luck!

Image Credit: (m_bartosch) at


  1. Hi Ruth ! Would you be so kind to suggest me a good-quality anti stretch marks cream/lotion for the body ???Thank you so much ! best wishes

    • @Silvia I’d use a regenerative oil, something with rosehip in or a form of Vitamin A. Pai do an amazing one, but if you’re using it on your body it won’t go very far! I’ve heard a few people say that BioOil works for them, but I haven’t any personal recommendations as I only have very faint ones on my upper thighs. This is something I have been looking into, though, so as soon as I get some good solid info I shall let you all know! x

  2. Ruth, you rock. How pleasing it is for The Rest of Us to share your emergency. You’ve somehow made me want to ramp it up and do a body overhaul with you. I’m hanging on your every word on YouTube… btw you may have had your Elemis body brush for a decade, but do you know how stiff the new ones are?! Dear God it’s like being flayed alive :-)… Anyway, your spray tan looks absolutely corking; how long will it last? Good luck, Pretty – we’re all rooting for you! Alix

    • @Alix thanks!! Hahaha…. I think the tan is starting to fade a little bit but I’ve had it for nearly a week! x

  3. If I may ask, what uk size are you?? you seam very skinny and fit! and im a size 10 and thinking to myself “hmm, i wonder what is the “model” size in england??” so I asked ^_^

    • I am a large UK8 or a small UK10 depending on which label. Usually a 10 though, rarely an 8! xx

  4. I hope it went well :) x

  5. How did it go?!

  6. epsom salts baths are brilliant for muscle definition and getting rid of excess water apparently!

  7. elizabeth maiorana

    You will prevail, I’m confident. That said, may I add that I utterly delighted in reading your droll summary of this elevanth hour predicament. I’m no model, but haven’t we all been there in some capacity? What a riot- and how cool and collected you are about it, Ruth!! (That’s what made me laugh so hard: how we Americans typically would be freaking out with the pressure and there you are- inspiring as can be with your pragmatism and wits-about-you under this “gun”.)I wish you the best, and a very Happy Mother’s Day to you. Thank you for this post. Beth in US xoxo ;-))

  8. Its not much time you got there, but you can do it!:) Good luck! Let us know how it went:)

  9. Good luck! Hope you get the results you want. =D

  10. Good luck! Can you fit a session in just before casting, as muscles look best defined just after a workout. Plank, push-ups and spinal twists! Yoga to lengthen.

  11. Good luck,let us know how you get along. :)

  12. Great things I recommend my clients to do is up your intake of metabolism boosting foods, and try to consume them before and after exercise, foods like (drink) green tea, red tea, (food) cayenne Pepper, cinnamon, grapefruit. coffee is also good as the naturally present caffiene is a metabolic booster too (try to avoid milk with coffee and absolutly no milk with red or green tea, milk adds the extra carbs and calories no matter how skimmed it gets), great exercises include squats and lunges which target the larger muscle groups and with hand weights at the same time you essentially work the whole body therfore toning and getting less “soft” ;-)

  13. This is a genuine suggestion it wonders on my jiggly parts, try the tracy anderson mat workout, its pretty long and repetitive but I just mute her and put my own music on but it does the job especially last minute! x

  14. Good luck! I’m sure you will look wonderful, with all that preparation, how could you not? :]

  15. hey was going through the daily mail on line and thought I’ve seen that girl before lol
    in the, how to wear shorts and not look like j-lo article, compliment indeed lol
    its in the femail section if you haven’t already seen it
    you look great btw

  16. I’ve always wondered how that caffeïne infused bodystuff would impact the nerves.
    Good luck with it Ruth and perhaps try a steam/sauna, it works great for me combined with healthy food and plenty of water.
    If all else fails try painting on those abs with bronzer!

  17. That post made me laugh and made me feel better at the same time! Just to know even the slim and beautiful like yourself have these moments takes some of the pressure off:-)
    I saw your daily mail shorts pics yesterday and you looked great. Didn’t think much of what you were made to wear though:-)
    Love your blog and the way you write. You come across as unpretentious, friendly with a great sense of humour – keep up the good work – i for one love reading:-)

  18. I used to only watch your youtube videos and I love them, but now I have “subscribed” to your blog and I love the way you write! Most of all, a very good luck on Monday! ;)

  19. I totally feel your pain! I had a t.v swimwear segment that I actually couldn’t bring myself to do!! But it definitely shocked me into pulling it together a bit on the exercise and healthy eating front! Good luck with the job!!x

  20. Yep, good luck! Let us know if you get it.

  21. Good luck! If you change your mind on the spray tan I find the St Tropez every day gradual tanner good for building up colour fairly quickly that doesn’t look out of place on pale skin, and it’s yet to go patchy xx

  22. oooh im excited to see the results! :)

  23. You’ll do great! The best of luck! :-)

  24. The best thing to say now would be GOOD LUCK! :)