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Losing Ted?

It’s rather queer, isn’t it, that I held off writing about Ted the Kitten. I mean, why do you think that was? I was so excited about getting him and then so excited about him settling in…but something wasn’t quite right. I knew it from the start, even though I’m a first-time cat owner. First of all, I had hundreds of ‘he’ll be swinging from the Christmas Tree’ comments on Youtube and here on A Model Recommends, but Ted wasn’t remotely interested in the tree. Or anything, really, for that matter. He didn’t eat properly either – perhaps he’s just settling in? Noooooo. Perhaps he has a potentially fatal infection and/or virus? Yeeeeees. I think that I must have sensed it, because I just didn’t feel inclined to show him to the world. He seemed quiet and shy and I felt I needed to protect him.

I don’t usually write personal posts – yes, every now and then I include a choice morsel of juicy detail, usually about Mr AMR and his penchant for long baths, but I try to keep things just a little bit separated. For ease, if nothing else – it gets complicated trying to work out what you’ve told people and what you haven’t, so my rule of thumb is to keep things jolly but ever-so-slightly-distanced. So it’s a first for me, to be writing about something a bit raw and unedited – unless you count drunken Twitter sessions, which haven’t happened in a good while. (In fact I think it only happened once.)

Ted the Kitten is very poorly, and on Tuesday I will get the call from the vets to tell me whether or not he needs to be put down. Tuesday! That’s ages away. I have almost broken my eyes Googling kitten diseases and symptoms, trying to double-guess the diagnosis, beating myself up about not having taken Ted to the vet’s earlier… Tuesday seems like months away. In the meantime, Ted is in a pet hospital on a drip, having his little lungs drained of fluid and I find the thought quite unbearable.

I know that ‘worse things happen at sea’ and I used to be the worst cynic when it came to people and their pets (cats in pet-strollers, anyone?! Dogs in pyjamas?!) but I really am quite shattered by this week’s events. Exhausted. I didn’t think that I would get attached to Ted quite so quickly – but I did! And when I had to take him to the vet, he looked at me with his huge orange eyes and looked so scared, I just felt a little something die inside. (Obviously Mr AMR had to do the honours in the end as I was too upset, and off he went with the little carrier and Ted inside it, waving his little paw. I imagine.)

So all I can do now is to wait for Tuesday and the vet’s verdict. It’s pretty horrible – you’ll excuse me if I’m a little quiet on the internet-front? Posts will continue as normal (it would literally take a nuclear war for me not to get my posts out) but there may be a general lack of the sheer wit and humour that you have grown accustomed to receiving from me. (HA.)

Fingers crossed for Tuesday, if you would – and if you want them to be perfectly festive fingers, may I recommend a coat of red followed by an overcoat of LOOK Beauty’s red glitter polish in ‘Dorothy’?

xxx

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170 comments

  1. Oh Ruth, I’ll cross everything for you. It is heartbreaking when a pet is ill.

  2. Aww, sending love & hugs your way Ruth! It’s always terrible to hear about animals suffering, and it’s even more upsetting to hear that he might have to be put down so soon after you got him.

  3. Hoping for the best.. for Ted.. and you as well :(

  4. Fingers crossed all the way over here in Virginia. You and Ted are in my thoughts! He looks just like my old cat Thisbe, the rapscallion that he was. Hope everything turns out okay.

  5. sorry to hear this, I have been through similar events. Will keep fingers, toes, legs and eyes crossed for Tuesday. *hugs*

  6. Jenny (love in a mist)

    Ruth I am so touched by your obviously heart felt post, I cannot believe this has happened to Ted, he is so gorgeous, I totally understand your feelings and cried when you said something died inside you, I felt the same when I had to leave my previous cat To Molly, Eric, of 11 years who was a adored member of our family, at the vets in similar circumstances, sadly he never came home and I too felt the same shattered with a gaping hole in my heart.
    I am keeping everything crossed for you and Ted and truly hope he will be ok, I am also sending you a virtual big bear hug, I will be thinking of you both all weekend, bless your heart Love and positive thought Jenny xxxx

  7. Oh Ruth I am so sorry to read this. I hope your little Ted fights his way through this and is back home with you soon.

    You should get in touch with the breeder asap if you haven’t already done so.

    xxx

  8. So, so sorry for Ted. Fingers crossed for tuesday.

  9. Hi Ruth,

    Eva here (: Sending you a big comforting hug from the Netherlands. I’ll be keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you and Ted and will try to send him some good energy.

    xx

  10. i’m terribly sorry ruth. i’m practically bawling as i write this! i know what it feels like to be in the deep end of the water and them saying they’ll only tell whether you get to be on the life boat on tues.

    been through it a couple of times, with my katz, some no longer with us….

    i’m not a pious person but i will send the biggest prayers and hugs to you and ted…

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