The Bear’s Caption Contest!

Every time I post a photo of Bear on Instagram or Facebook, I get loads of brilliant comments, some of them very funny. So I thought I’d run a caption contest. It may become a regular thing, if you like it! To enter, just leave your caption in the comments below and make sure you leave me an email address in the comment form! As with all AMR entries, you must be signed up to A Model Recommends: Exclusive, the free quarterly newsletter. You can do that here:

Entries will be judged by Mr AMR and my little sister, Crilly Style. I have no idea what the prizes will be yet, but I imagine they will be something nice. I’ll dig around in my beauty cupboard! Entries before August the 15th at noon, please!



  1. “is this the new Estee Lauder Double Wear Stay In Place eye pencil? You have 150 of these Ruth… where are the Brunswick sardines you promised me? do we have a problem with the family budget?”

  2. I know the contest is long over but I cant resist sharing my Bear deep thoughts line.

    Bear: Hmmm let’s see, if my calculations are correct, I could indeed fit 6 mice on here.

    Thank you & carry on.

  3. This will be the last time I’ll ask . . . Have you chosen a winner here?

  4. “My friend, Frank, said that if I loosely wiggle the pencil in my paw like this, it’ll turn into rubber. Um yeah…Frank officially needs to ease up on the catnip…

  5. 2HB or not 2HB that is the question?

    • that reminds me of “2B or not 2B” that I read in a book which is a bit funny because William Shakespeare quoted “To be or not to be.

  6. do I look like pink would be my color, I am named MR. Bear after all

  7. Today I’m lifting pencils, tomorrow I’m taking over the world! Mwahahahaha!

  8. Debbie LeShirley

    You wannit, you wannit??… Gotta catch me first!!

  9. ‘look into my eyes, look into my eyes, your under!’

    Quoting a little Britain sketch! Xxx

  10. Somehow, Mr. Bear had managed to persuade the beautiful cat next door to let him ‘draw her like one of his French girls’

  11. “Oh the stories I could tell” said Bear as he continued to grapple with the pencil…

  12. If I wiggle it fwast enwuff it wobbles!

  13. *Duh! Duh, duh duh! Duh duh duh! Duh duh duuuuuh…. Eye of tha taaaiiigerrrrr!!!*

  14. ‘miaow first we must erase any im-purr-fections to achieve a pawless base…’

  15. Here is my screenplay for a short movie clip:

    Mr. Bear [Singing, whilst shaking pencil]: Shake it! Shake it! Shake it like a polaroid piiiiicture! Mewww know what to do! Sh-shake it….

    Ruth [as if she is speaking to the camera whilst filming, purely out of habit]: Oh, that’s just “the cat”… [Tweets picture of Bear thwarting her work on school assignments YET AGAIN – suspicious! Decides she will take a little break from being prolific herself, since clearly she can’t access her pencil whilst it is being used as a microphone, and asks her viewers/followers/fans to be prolific instead, in the form of a caption contest!]


  16. High five to the face!!!

  17. Mum, a postgraduate thesis does not write itself…..can I suggest you put this in you hand instead of moisturisers, lip glosses and hair serums…xxxx

  18. “Mum stop working RIGHT NOW and give me my 4pm cuddle or I shall DESTROY all your stationary, starting with this pencil. I demand your love!”

  19. Choupette has two…counte ‘ ..two maids to wirte her diary but I have to do everything myself! I’m hiding in the suitcase the next time Blondie goes to Paris….Karl knows how to treat a kitty.


  21. “Ohhh… Ok, I will play with this pencil, if it makes you so happy…”

  22. “I am the only cat in the world who can make a pencil fly with the power of my mind. I even pick a bright pink one that matches my nose, just in case it may help to draw her attention to me. You know her passion for everything beauty related… Does it work? Not really she keeps blogging!!!
    Cat’s life is a mess. Maybe painting my claws in neon pink was a better idea in the end…”

  23. Ahhh! One of my favourite multi-taskers. Ruth’s been in Greece so this is the purr-fect opportunity to show you her lovely pink pencil. The top end doubles as both a blusher and lip gloss and it’s a wonderful whisker-smoother, too.

    (A special thank you to Catatonic Productions and my video director “Hit Paws” for making this clip paws-ible.)

  24. Darling – you know an artist needs peace to work, I’m writing about the latest in Feline Grooming and you’re in here cramping my style! How does one concentrate when one has his pet in the way all day with her camera?! Hmm?

  25. “Little do they know i’m only humoring them with this pencil chasing nonsense… I Shall commence writing my memoirs later “

  26. Forget about fake lashes, I need fake thumbs! Then my memoirs will reveal what REALLY goes on Chez Crilly …

  27. Having spent an hour chasing his favourite mouse, Bear decided to reward him with a spot of personal grooming.

  28. “You know what this is, Mum? It’s called a pencil. P-E-N-C-I-L. I know it looks like your eyeliner, but it’s actually what people used to write with. You know, before blogs, email and Twitter existed. Now, do you know what a PEN is? It’s a little bit different. Let me explain…”

  29. Mmmm shall I use regular or whitening toothpaste today?

  30. Mummy! I told you! Enough with the eyeliner!

  31. Meow ! Don’t steal my light you human . I’m the author of Bear’s blog.

  32. In my head Mr Bear is a cross between Stewie off Family guy and Lolcats. You’ll have to do the voice in your head.

    Mr Bear: Egads Ruth! For the last time – Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

    Ruth: I know this is just my initial draft…

    Mr Bear: Also, always avoid annoying alliteration and don’t use no double negatives!

    Ruth: Sorry

    Mr Bear: Give me that pencil. GIVE ME THE PENCIL! I’ll write it myself. I suppose you’ll take all the credit as usual…A MODEL recommends indeed! *grumbles under his breath whilst editing and rewriting the entire article*

    The End

  33. ( spoken in smart sophisticated tone)

    ” A little to the left…. Too far…. A tad to the right… NO! Ruth , sweetie how am
    I supposed to draw your portrait when you keep
    Moving? “

  34. Dear Richard Simmons…

  35. 8 out of 10 cats prefer well-groomed whiskers!

  36. “we meet again, arch nemesis….”

  37. “Look, you need to keep your hand out the picture so it looks like I’m holding this thing – seriously your not helping”

  38. She gets the Elemis and I this?? Hmmph!!

  39. How can I sharp my pencil if Ruth has been using it to sharpen eyeliner pencils…? Hm…women :P

  40. Yep, that Hanky Panky thong review should do the trick

  41. “on your mark, get set, shoenice!”

    That will literally make no sense unless you’ve seen this classic though:

  42. Robin Palmer Hosking

    Not content with me being generally cute and an internetz star, you now want me to be your scribe? I’m not being paid enough for this. Imma talk to my union about this… perhaps after a nap.

  43. Mum’s not the only one who can do beauty videos. I’ll show you how to groom your whiskers Mr. Bear style. :)

  44. The pen(cil) is mightier than the claw!

  45. Stop trying, Blondie. We all know I’m the one who does the best writing.

  46. ‘There is no pencil…’

    (The Pussy Matrix)

  47. Hmmm this new MAC whisker brush is just perrrfect!!

  48. Deep thought for the day – “If the pen is mightier than the sword, is the pencil the mightiest of them all?”

  49. “i’m your new agent, just sign on the dotted line”

  50. “I could take on Andy Murray any day”

  51. Yeah, I know I’m cute & smart – but when I get the time I’m going to write a cat story …

  52. “Eat Chinese, she said. Raw fish, she said. No one happened to mention chop sticks require thumbs!”

  53. ‘Ruth- my creative ins-purr-ation!’

  54. “HAiii-Ya! The pencil is mightier than the sword!”

  55. ‘ Wow I’m actually gripping this pencil real good even though I have no thumb and I’m all fur’ what is that rubbery looking pink thing on the end.mmmm hypnotising

  56. I’m never going to get the hang of this baton twirling! Need to rethink my
    Olympic entry, perhaps the “catapult” :)

  57. I am Shakesbear!!!

  58. And they said we needed opposable thumbs..

  59. “Come on, put that down now and play with me!”

  60. Because of their size, parents are so difficult to discipline properly-let´s try with this. Kneel down before me!

  61. ACatRecommends: Many of you have begged me to share the secret to my flawless appearance. Truthfully, I am a natural beauty. However, this rubber will erase any fine lines that you might have.

  62. oooOOOoooo, this looks phallic!

  63. “Seriously! Is that all you got me from duty free!!!”

  64. “don’t worry Ruth, today I’m charge to your beauty post, let’s talk about hair care…”

  65. Bear tries out the new skincare craze- the catisonic! x

  66. Look into my eyes, look deep into my eyes… you are getting veeeery sleeeepy…


  68. “Mummy told me that using hairspray on a toothbrush can smooth down my frizz. IT’S NOT WORKING!”

  69. Masters? Pffft, let me write you a PhD thesis.

  70. Enough of this medieval pencil nonsense – someone pass me a mouse!

  71. Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo!

  72. Her theapist keeps telling me I have to play with her to keep her sane, but geez, a pencil? Really?

  73. ‘1,2,3…and stretch! Really work those arms!’

  74. -Had enough, this time I’m writing a letter of complaint.

  75. “Really Crilly? You call that blogging?” *As Bear busts out his E.L. James pencil*

  76. “Yeah, I knew it, I’m already a cat but no such thing as the color pink to boost my popularity rating!”

  77. Look at the pencil, look at the pencil, the pencil, the pencil, not around the pencil, don’t look around my pencil, look at my pencil…. You’re under.

  78. ‘Gimme that pencil! I’d do a better job at writing about beauty than you do missy, just look at me I’m Purrfect!’ xx


  80. “Oh, can’t find Ruth’s concealer! I will use this to erase my dark under eyes instead.”

  81. …Oh, and you are grounded from now until you’re thirty missy.

  82. Come hither, human-and ravish me with Kitty Kibble.

  83. That’s the lipstick done, now hold on and I’ll do your mascara…..

  84. Wingardium leviosa!

  85. “Wingardium Leviosa!”

  86. Once I get my paws on this thing, OH the chewing I will do!

  87. Watch me karate chop this pencil in half. HiiiYaaa!

  88. “Lets rub some of that slap off your face mummy”