Sh*tfit of the Day: “Sleeps Until Christmas”

care bear wallpaper free

What is this “sleeps” business? When did we, as adults, start saying “sleeps” instead of “days”? I can’t bear it! I’m banning it from my life and if I hear anyone say it I am going to put my fingers in my ears and go “NAHAHAHAHAHAHNAAAA” like a fire engine whilst stamping my feet.

I’m well aware that I have some annoying verbal tics – I say uhhhm a lot, and, like many who make Youtube videos and sometimes drop into cliché and bad speaking habits, I often use the lazy description for products I love – “this is one of my absolute favourites“. I, like everyone else in this world, have excruciatingly irritating phrases that I use. You may list them below in the comments, if you want, but I stand my ground on counting the days with “sleeps”. Sleeps isn’t even a noun, it’s a bloody VERB! I wouldn’t say “it’s five hundred walks to the tube station” or “only ten eats until I’ve finished my glittery mini cupcake!” So what’s with the sleeps thing? Will we start calling our dogs the “woof woof” and our hoovers the “noo noos”? Will we drop the brum brum at the garage and take the choo choo to work instead? I think not.

Sleeps: if you are wearing pyjamas with Care Bears printed on them whilst eating strawberry Angel Delight with a plastic spoon then you have my explicit permission to use “sleeps” as a unit of measurement. If you are one of those people who has the adult baby fetish and you wear a big nappy and live in a gargantuan cot – you may also use it without feeling any additional sense of embarrassment. People with jobs, houses, kids, cars, any form of education: please. Christmas on its own is enough to make us feel deliciously childlike – we don’t need babytalk too! Who’s with me on this? Who’s not? Opinions below – and, as per usual, rants must be non-sweary, non-vindictive and have a sense of humour.

(Disclaimer: I am not talking about any one particular person, here, including the good friend who I know will be reading this and uses the exact term on her Facebook status every day from about the second of November. Yours, The Grinch.)

Image is from a free wallpaper site: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/care-bears/images/256396/title/care-bears-wallpaper-wallpaper

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58 Comments

  1. December 20, 2012 / 7:08 am

    Wait. Hoovers are supposed to make noo noo sounds???

    • RuthCrilly
      December 20, 2012 / 10:15 am

      Or, just VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

  2. December 20, 2012 / 7:28 am

    Who governs poetic license? With the emotional stress here in theUS I love your posts !

    • RuthCrilly
      December 20, 2012 / 10:15 am

      Thank you Beth – hope all is well with you. x

  3. Mariella D
    December 20, 2012 / 8:04 am

    This is hilarious :) I thought hoovers said “voo voos” but maybe that’s because I speak French, haha.

    • RuthCrilly
      December 20, 2012 / 10:15 am

      It is! French hoovers make an entirely different sound. x

  4. Butterpuff
    December 20, 2012 / 8:14 am

    Hahahaha…..hilarious! That sent me off into a lurgy fuelled coughing fit….better out than in, lol. Have to say….I thought a noo noo was something else entirely…..ahem……but thanks for the morning giggle :-)

    • RuthCrilly
      December 20, 2012 / 10:15 am

      Oh my GOD. You are right – know it all comes back to me. Is a noo-noo a….tinkle sprinkle?

      • Mo
        December 20, 2012 / 8:24 pm

        Yup! A noo-noo could indeed masquerade as a tinkle-sprinkle! Or a boy’s winkie… Now you’re positively encouraging infantilism, Ms Crilly! Be careful, or Santa will be judging us all in just 5 sleeps’ time … ; )

  5. Lisa
    December 20, 2012 / 8:16 am

    Thank you so much for this post! I thought I was the only one on the planet who hates this “sleeps” nonsense! It’s just so bizarre and it frightens me how it’s becoming a completely accepted way to measure time! Stop it now please.

    • RuthCrilly
      December 20, 2012 / 10:14 am

      They even say it in the papers!

  6. Sarah
    December 20, 2012 / 8:22 am

    I’m with you Ruth, along with people who say Ooo, I had too much wine yesterday – and it was a “school night” Unless you are a teacher or pupil,no, it’s not! I’m a grown up and I go to work!! (Irrationaly angry due to leaking radiator and uncommunicative plumbers, grr) xx

    • RuthCrilly
      December 20, 2012 / 10:13 am

      Ha! Yes, though I have been known to say that one. Ironically, of course.

  7. December 20, 2012 / 8:22 am

    OK, for a British rant, not bad at all! A bit more than your last one, the popcorn one, but you still a way to go before you get to anything close to Russian and Italian! (OK, protests may be sent to moi as poor Ruth isn’t responsible for some of what comes out of her reader’s mouths…errr, keyboards.)

    • RuthCrilly
      December 20, 2012 / 10:14 am

      Ha! Do I need to step it up a bit? x

      • December 21, 2012 / 12:01 am

        Sure, why not? ;) xx

  8. Hannah
    December 20, 2012 / 9:39 am

    haha. Agreed. Like your Care Bear pic. I have a lucky Care Bear sweatshirt. I am a big saddo lol

    • RuthCrilly
      December 20, 2012 / 10:14 am

      Where can I get one of those?!

      • Hannah
        December 20, 2012 / 1:58 pm

        I got it years ago. It is green with a care bear on the front and on the back it say Lucky You. It was ages ago and can’t remember the shop but the label is Junk Food. Actually it could of been Asos but years and years ago….. It is beautifully kitsch!

  9. kitty paterson
    December 20, 2012 / 10:24 am

    Oh my god I know what you mean! if one more person retweets Santa….!

    • RuthCrilly
      December 20, 2012 / 11:24 am

      Good to know! x

  10. Sarah-grace
    December 20, 2012 / 10:32 am

    Over in NZ there is this radio show host who sings a “sleeps to santa” song every single moring starting from the first of December. It is enough to put you in a bad mood for the rest of the day!

    • RuthCrilly
      December 20, 2012 / 11:24 am

      Ha! Going to look that up right now!

  11. Dee
    December 20, 2012 / 10:45 am

    Was nodding along in agreement with today’s rant, Ruth, like a good ‘un – ’til I got to, “…tinkle sprinkle” – and nearly spat my orange juice over the keyboard; laughing (spluttering with this damned flu-cough) SO much! What you don’t want though, is your noonooo making a vroo-vrooooom sound. (But I think you can get something from the chemist’s for that) ;)

    • RuthCrilly
      December 20, 2012 / 11:24 am

      Mine only does that if I’ve had lots of caffeine.

  12. Madii
    December 20, 2012 / 11:01 am

    Very popular in Australia, to count “sleeps” until something. I agree, it should be strictly banned after the age of 10 :)

  13. Talli8cakes
    December 20, 2012 / 12:10 pm

    5 more sleeps till Christmas!…..ooh I feel so deliciously evil.
    Muah ha ha ha ha (been practising my evil laugh)

  14. December 20, 2012 / 12:42 pm

    LOL, so funny! I don’t agree with you but amusing post anyway! Plus, I now how care bears wallpaper on my pc. So yay!

  15. annie n
    December 20, 2012 / 12:51 pm

    WAAAAYYY too confusing for a foreigner!! I couldn’t get meaning nor the point of it!!!! Additional explaining needed! Please

  16. December 20, 2012 / 1:31 pm

    Love your rant. The adult baby fetish was the best; it’s about as bizarre as the furry thing (I suppose the ultimate love of stuffed animals?). May I add something that irks me so much that it’s like nails on a chalkboard? I can’t stand when someone says ‘anyways’. I went to school in upstate NY and heard it all the time. At a certain point, banging my head against the wall would’ve been preferably to hearing that ‘word’ again.

  17. Sihouette
    December 20, 2012 / 1:56 pm

    Well, as a German speaking person I don’t stumble across this saying (only in funny model blogs), but in German we have a similar expression. However, it’s not that common, so not everywhere (e.g. newspapers! How embarrassing!). It’s mainly used when talking to kids AND it uses the word “sleep” as a correct verb. Could be translated like this: Still four times to sleep until christmas. (Original: Noch vier Mal schlafen bis Weihnachten.)

    But what I DO witness is this new “über”-hype, which irritates a lot of people. Who did invent the word “überwunderbar”? It doesn’t exist in German! And the word “über” is never used to express something as hyper-, mega-, or super-something. It’s still really irritating hearing this word from some youtubers when they want to label something as extremely cool (or whatever). So just a quick advice to people that wanna practice their German skills with native speakers: Only use “über” (and keep your camera ready) if you wanna look into a totally bewildered face, haha!

    Generally speaking, I think in every language there are expressions and certain uses of words which lead to an infantile way of speaking (and even writing, thinking of blogs and internet platforms). I experience this especially on a cooking platform (which I love, ’cause I love cooking!), but there is no excuse using these words when talking to another adult. So I’m totally with you, there are different languages for different occasions, and they should not be mixed up. (And I hope, that those “mommas” still teach their children a proper way to speak and pronounce words correctly!)

  18. Jen
    December 20, 2012 / 3:13 pm

    I used to use “sleeps” when I worked in an office – “two more sleeps until the weekend” because I was always knackered and obsessed with the amount of sleep I got. Can’t say I dropped it into regular conversation though… Then I got made redundant and am trying to be self-employed, so now I obsess about money rather than sleep :(

    I hate chefs on TV saying “eat” as in “this will eat well” – do you mean “this will taste nice”? Do you? DO YOU? And in fashion, the use of a singular drives me crazy – “this will team nicely with a black pant/red shoe”. Other over used phrases: “To be honest”/”In the nicest possible way”/”With respect” before saying something nasty/mean as if the preceding phrase negates the following insults. Also, “Do you know what I mean?” every three bloomin’ seconds – AAAAAAAAGH.

  19. Jo
    December 20, 2012 / 3:17 pm

    Amen! Ruth you’re dead on again. I also loved reading everyone’s comments. Lol I can always count on your posts for a smile and giggles. Thank you! :)

  20. Anne
    December 20, 2012 / 4:03 pm

    Totally agree with you here Ruth. Another one of ‘these’ that tends to pop up around christmas is the apparently newish verb ‘gifting’ – aaarrrggghhhh!!!

  21. mel
    December 20, 2012 / 4:27 pm

    People using sleeps never really bothered me much but my chalk board moment is any variation of the word “num”or “nom” used by a full grown adult. For example: a Facebook photo of dinner with the caption of “nummers”; or, hearing “Christmas dinner looks “nom nom” (or “nummy”)” and there isn’t a child in site. Gah!! Wow! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest! Apparently I’ve been holding that one in for a while. Love the site! Keep up the good work.

  22. Cait
    December 20, 2012 / 4:42 pm

    Thank god for this! I cannot stand it either!

  23. December 20, 2012 / 6:33 pm

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one who is unbelievably, entirely, excessively annoyed by the use of this word!

  24. Céline
    December 20, 2012 / 8:44 pm

    I agree that the phrase shouldn’t be used by anyone over the age of 5, however “sleep” is also a noun! X

  25. ei
    December 20, 2012 / 9:09 pm

    people who don’t have their kids friends “over to play” instead they “have a playdate” It sets my teeth on edge when British people use this American expression. And I agree with you about the “sleeps” thing. Maybe I just need to “chillax”

  26. December 20, 2012 / 9:50 pm

    I honestly have never heard this term before..until Tanya said it in one of her latest vlogs! Uh oh!

  27. MRose
    December 20, 2012 / 10:29 pm

    It’s a reference to The Muppet Christmas Carol…? I’m surprised you’d be so irked by a movie quote.

  28. Hessed Torres
    December 20, 2012 / 10:52 pm

    I hate it when people say “stuff” and I don’t know why. Lol.

  29. Sally
    December 21, 2012 / 12:40 am

    ahh! had to mention, ‘Noo-noo’ is the name of the Teletubbies vacuum. Made me chuckle as I thought how ironic it is that while mentioning this childish ‘sleeps’ nonsense (agreed btw), you’ve made an allusion to a children’s TV series :p xx

  30. Kitty
    December 21, 2012 / 12:43 am

    I fully agree!!!
    Over here I find it super annoying when adults say:
    choccie (instead of chocolate)
    bikkie (instead of biscuit)
    Also brolly (umbrella) which I don’t mind so much but choccie and bikkie makes me want to choke the speaker…

  31. Catherine
    December 21, 2012 / 1:27 am

    I’m completely with you on this!

    Another one appropriate for the season is when people say they were “gifted” something or that they will “gift” something to someone else. No! You were given and you will give! Argh.

  32. Sarah
    December 21, 2012 / 2:02 am

    Ruth, I just DIED laughing at this post. I saw the whole “5 sleeps until xmas!” posts last year for the first time, and I couldn’t help but cringe.

    Your posts make my days a little brighter! Happy Holidays!

  33. December 21, 2012 / 12:08 pm

    I’m with you on this one Ruth. I hate when people say sleep and one of my says it everyday from the first of December! Not sure if she has the baby fetish thing going on…well I hope not! Haa xo

  34. MissToDo
    December 21, 2012 / 12:22 pm

    Cray cray makes me crazy, it’s pointless! Or am I old??

  35. Kate
    December 21, 2012 / 12:35 pm

    I’m with you on that one, but I also find people saying ‘nom nom’ when they are about to eat, or their food is especially nice very annoying too! X

  36. December 21, 2012 / 4:15 pm

    I love you Ruth, just so you know. I cannot stand bad English in general, and that’s coming from someone who speaks English as a second language! Why do people want to murder their own culture/language?!?! ‘You’re/Your’, ‘there/their’ and ‘should of’ etc, just make me want to scream.

  37. December 21, 2012 / 4:16 pm

    Agreed.
    Also hate ‘gifting’ and ‘on trend’. In fact ‘on trend’ makes my blood boil. Very irrationally angry about that one.

  38. Becky
    December 21, 2012 / 7:51 pm

    Hahahah! This made me laugh, Ruth!

  39. December 22, 2012 / 10:10 am

    Ooooohhh dear are we having a “Bah humbug” moment Ruth? Lol! So does that mean I AM allowed to say those things because I wear Disney PJ’s? PHEW! Ooooohhhh Care Bear PJ’s Hmmmmm me thinks I should get myself a pair of those too but I doubt I will get them in time for Christmas as there is only 3 more sleeps till Christmas *laughs uncontrollably at using the word sleeps as knows it will irritate Ruth* ? LMAO! I think EVERYONE is allowed to have a 2nd childhood around Christmas TBH and say silly things like that (and i’m 43 years young! Lol) Come on Ruth admit it you can’t say you NEVER use baby talk and if you say you don’t I think you maybe telling porkies? Let the Christmas spirit in and have a copasetic one and remember Santa knows if you have been naughty or nice! PMSL x

  40. reka
    December 22, 2012 / 3:50 pm

    that was soooooooo funny Ruth, but i agree with you totally, well said!

  41. Leslie
    December 22, 2012 / 6:18 pm

    I wonder if this started because of the song in the Muppet Christmas Carol – “Only One More Sleep Til Christmas”?? Still not an excuse, though.

  42. Jane
    December 23, 2012 / 12:05 am

    I’m divided on this issue, on the one hand I intensely dislike baby talk (especially to babies) and I definitely cringed when the lady on the radio said ‘sleeps’ today. Not to mention my obsession with grammar, apologies there to my poor long suffering husband. However I have to hold my hands up and admit to that tiny bit of me that felt very nostalgic for the days when ‘3 sleeps til Christmas day’ was seriously exciting.

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