OK, it’s not actually Liam himself on the lust-list, though I did meet him and a very lovely man he was too. No, it’s his shoes. Beautifully-crafted, elegant shoes. Unfortunately for the majority of us, these shoes are some of the most expensive in the world – retailing at between about £400 and £800. You know me, though – if I can find a way to justify my spending then I will. And I have been practising how I’ll justify buying these boots:
I love everything about them. They are my perfect boot – a sturdy heel that’s still elegant and sexy, a nod to the equestrian and another to the military trend…and just look at the soles! Your very own horseshoes! Oh, how I can annoy the neighbours clip-clopping home at night!
So yes, I must have them. But I think that they will retail at £750. So, here goes with my justification train-of-thought:
1) I can somehow cleverly write them off through the company accounts. Because surely I wouldn’t be able to properly run A Model Recommends without a pair of Liam Fahy boots?
2) I am intending to wear them over 750 times. That’s less than £1 per wear. I once bought a pair of wedges from Ravel for £5 and wore them once, which in effect made the Ravel wedges five times more expensive than Liam’s boots.
3) I didn’t buy any boots this winter and I also didn’t invest in a new coat. Saving? Over £750! Therefore the boots are free.
4) If I don’t buy them, I’ll have to steal them. If I get caught and prosecuted, it will cost me money. I emailed my lawyers this morning and asked them to give me a quote for representation in this (potential) matter and after a few back-and-forths (and a warning that if I asked any further questions it would cost me £175 for their time) they came in at about £2,200. Providing there were no complications. Therefore, buying the boots will save me nearly £1500.
In summary, the boots will: save my business, cost five times less than my £5 Ravel wedges, actually be free and also save me the embarrassment of being put away for shoplifting. Oh, and the legal fees. They’ll save me the legal fees. It’s a no-brainer, surely?
Just tell me when I can get my hands on them, Liam Fahy – I’m there. I just have to decide which colour.
You can find out more about Liam Fahy on his website here – these boots are called Jolie and they’ll be available from July 2013.