Sunday Tittle Tattle: B*llocks To Resolutions

new years resolutions

I was all set to write one of those slightly twee resolutions posts that are almost obligatory every New Year and then I thought to myself, are you completely MAD, woman? You don’t even have time to wash your hair, half the time – what kind of improvements to yourself are you POSSIBLY planning to make? 

Resolutions have become big business over the last couple of years. No longer a little set of relatively mundane personal challenges (give up booze for January, stop saying f*ck at inappropriate moments, remember to take the damp washing from the machine so that it doesn’t get that funny smell), resolutions seem to be an opportunity for people to do a full and frank appraisal of their own strengths and weaknesses with a detailed action plan for any improvements they might make in the near future.

Nope. Sorry, but doing a full and frank appraisal of my strengths and weaknesses is simply not on the agenda. I’m merely trying to bumble through life and keep my head above water. Gone are the days when I had the luxury of being able to analyse my work habits, make changes to my daily timetable to maximise efficiency, give pause to the various (and numerous) brainwaves that would push my career further and present me with interesting challenges.

Now I maximise efficiency by drafting blog posts in my head as I play tea parties with a toddler, brainwaves usually happen as I sit on the loo and then, when I get a spare hour, I get straight to the point, no dithering, and make things happen. It’s an entirely new approach for me and not one I’m completely comfortable with, as I like to know exactly what I’m doing in advance and all this spontaneity makes me feel frustrated and out of control, but really it’s the only option when you’re trying to do too many things at once.

Which is why – this year – I’m saying b*llocks to resolutions. Yes I could cut down on the Mini Magnums, but I only have one or two a week, so is it really the end of the world if I don’t? I could promise to keep my office tidy and I’ve no doubt it would increase productivity if I didn’t have to tip-toe through a sea of lidless lipsticks and open bronzer compacts every time I wanted to fetch something from my samples drawers, but really, when do I get a chance to sort it out? I am by no means clapping myself on the back here, saying that I think I’m doing so well that I require no improvement, I’m merely drawing a line in the sand and saying: enough. No extra pressure, no “building on my strengths”, no “embracing positivity”: I just want to be exactly as I am. I don’t have the time or energy for anything else!

In case you’re interested, here were my resolutions for last year. I can’t bring myself to watch them, actually, mainly because Angelica was only six months old and the year has gone by so fast and it’ll send me into some kind of panic spiral, but feel free to indulge. And if you want my post from 2011 it’s here – I’ve just had a little chortle at it because I was blatantly so hungover that I had to stop writing after a couple of measly paragraphs. Oh, how things change…

Anyway, a very Happy New Year to you all, whether you have a list of resolutions as long as your arm or you’re sitting in my “anti-resolutions” camp. I wish you a joyful and successful 2017.

 

 

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27 Comments

  1. Sarah
    January 1, 2017 / 12:58 am

    My resolution is to sleep in more before my first arrives in March. And to drink more water, walk to dog more, blah blah, etc.

  2. January 1, 2017 / 1:08 am

    Hahah! Love this post Ruth, so honest! I have set 4 resolutions compared to last year where I set 30 (lol achieved 3)! Hopefully I will have more success this year! x

  3. Chantal
    January 1, 2017 / 1:46 am

    I couldn’t agree more with you Ruth. Like what is the point of making any if you know you will just break them anyway x

  4. Nyree
    January 1, 2017 / 2:12 am

    Happy New Year Ruth
    May 2017 bring everything you need and a little of what you want xx

  5. Wendy
    January 1, 2017 / 7:31 am

    Tip on the smelly washing in the machine, (mainly because I do this all the while and have to re-wash), if you have left it too long and decide it needs a quick machine rinse, put in some white vinegar and it will take away the smells.

    • Madalena
      January 5, 2017 / 9:50 pm

      Great tip! Happens to me all the time. Thank you, Wendy.

  6. Cassandra
    January 1, 2017 / 8:15 am

    Thank you Ruth, for being real.

  7. Laura
    January 1, 2017 / 8:21 am

    Thank you Ruth, you’re fantastic just as you are! Reading your posts has helped me through some difficult times this year. It’s like having a friend who’s around whenever I need her, available to ramble on (a bit!) about beauty things I’d never have noticed or thought about, or known I’d be interested in. The way you write and share your life is engaging and lovely. So thank you.

  8. Stephanie-M-M
    January 1, 2017 / 8:32 am

    First: Happy new Year to the AMR-Family! Hope everyone stays healthy and you (and MR. AMR) have a successful year ahead of you! x
    I kind of like resolutions. But I think the problem is if we fail to improve something on/around ourselves, we tend to blame ourselves (more than usual) or we feel guilty or worthless, which should not be the case, right? We should be more kind to ourselves. I mean, if you make a resolution and you follow it halfheartedly, it can’t annoy you that much. Because if something really bothers me (and I mean something is really going on my nerves; like really really) I change it, and that doesn’t deepen on a date. And if I don’t change it, maybe it is not so bad after all.

  9. Emma
    January 1, 2017 / 9:35 am

    I love reading your blog. It always gives me a chuckle in the best possible way. Good luck for 2017! X

  10. Emma
    January 1, 2017 / 9:36 am

    This article sums up why I love your blog so much!

  11. Emily
    January 1, 2017 / 10:01 am

    Hi Ruth

    Happy new year. I have a photo just like that one. I was holding my baby girl across my huge bump. When her little brother finally showed up he was 2 weeks later & gate crashed her 1st birthday. They share a birthday & are best buddies.

    Enjoy the remainder of your pregnancy

    Emily

  12. Danielle
    January 1, 2017 / 12:14 pm

    Good for you and thank-you for being honest. Coming from someone 6 months into having two children the me-time is very much non existent (bar the loo, but even then with a toddler/preschooler they have no boundaries, even if you leave them with daddy and put the lock on they shout through the door) and the virtuous ‘authentic’ self affirming ‘good’ mother/partner/wife/friend etc posts can make you swing between rage and sadness as you feel you can’t live up to them…
    That said all things must pass, my elder daughter will turn 4 this year (horrific where the time has gone) and the horror I went through this time last year with pregnancy worries is now meaningless now that I have my odds-busting miracle healthy younger daughter.
    My only resolution this year is to make the most of this time, however frustrating, however much I just want a little smidge of time to myself, just be grateful for the time with them, time passes so quickly and soon they won’t want to snuggle and wonder at my face with touches, hugs and kisses so I’m trying to sponge all that love up while I’ve got it.

  13. Ieva
    January 1, 2017 / 12:26 pm

    Got to be the best New Years resolutions posts I have ever seen!!! Happy New Year!! xxx

  14. January 1, 2017 / 12:39 pm

    I love how your blog is always a BS-free zone!
    Happy New Year, Ruth!

  15. January 1, 2017 / 2:55 pm

    Happy New Year!

  16. Barbara
    January 1, 2017 / 3:33 pm

    Happy New Year to one of the most smartest, funniest und beautiful women! I enjoy reading all your posts and look forward to read your book someday… you’re a real role model.
    Greetings from Germany

  17. Melissa
    January 1, 2017 / 4:11 pm

    You may feel out of control at times, but think about how much you’ve accomplished since Angelica was born. If anything, you’ve become more successful and having your family makes it that much sweeter. You deserve those Magnums.

  18. January 2, 2017 / 11:02 am

    Well, for a change I am actually setting a few goals this new year (‘goal’ seems a safer word to call it at this point!!). Mainly because I plan to get pregnant (again) around April time following the terrible time last October where I lost my newborn. I find myself in the strange situation of being free of work until that time due to Maternity leave so I’m doing that cringe-worthy thing and joining a gym to go swimming in an attempt to move this post c-section gut. Kind of a waste of time one might think, if I’m then going to balloon up afterwards, but I’m hoping to improve general health and strengthen that scar up a bit so I’m as prepared as I can be for what lies ahead, and hopefully also recover quicker due to being healthier beforehand.

    Other little goals are the normal things like…always make sure husband has a shirt ironed for work the next day, and keep ironing pile down, oh and just generally make sure the house is clean and plenty of good food in the fridge so I don’t snack on crap when I’ve left it too long and find myself in a state of hunger and no motivation to rustle something up!

    Happy new year to you Ruth, and good luck with the birth of your baby. :) xxx

  19. Virginia Villalobos
    January 2, 2017 / 11:11 am

    Wonderful and refreshing post, Ruth! Well done and sending you and the fam all the best for 2017. I look forward to more postings with your unique outlook in the coming year.

  20. denise Barnatt
    January 2, 2017 / 11:55 am

    Hoorah, thank you for not jumping on the bandwagon. Tbh the ‘how to pick your new years resolutions and stick to them’ vlogs are boring. Personally I don’t need the new year to make changes to how I live or think or whatever. I prefer to use the new year to wallow in self pity at what I haven’t managed to achieve LOL LOL – how come we don’t see those vlogs eh? xxx

    • January 2, 2017 / 9:27 pm

      I don’t know – everything is saturated in “positivity” these days. I too like to have a good wallow in self-pity and I LOVE a moan. : )

  21. Verlin
    January 2, 2017 / 3:56 pm

    Good for you! My resolution is to remember to take my vitamins. My husband’s is to remind me to take my vitamins, and my son joked that his is to remind his Dad to remind me to take my vitamins. Some SERIOUS consideration into resolutions at our house as well. All the best to you in 2017; keep up the refreshing blog posts.

  22. January 3, 2017 / 11:56 am

    I am in the No Resolutions Camp and have been there ever since I had my first child. Surviving without doing maior damage to myself, my martiage or anyone close to me is what I setlled for three years ago.

  23. Natalie
    January 4, 2017 / 11:31 pm

    Ruth I’m totally with you in the “anti resolution” camp. What a great approach! Thank you for the common sense and sense of humour. All the best to you in 2017 xxx

  24. January 17, 2017 / 6:29 pm

    Honest blog! However I love NY resolutions, it’s a way of me assessing how much I’ve been able to do in a year and it makes me feel super positive. Each to their own I guess!

  25. Franzi
    January 17, 2017 / 8:07 pm

    No resolutions for the win.

    I join you…Team Ruth.

    Happy (belated) new year to you!!

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