Geranium Nefertum: So Sexy It Hurts

molton brown geranium nefertum review

Well, Molton Brown’s new Geranium Nefertum range is a bit of a surprise. I can’t remember the last time I needed to try a fragrance on Mr AMR with such immediacy – I actually sprinted down the stairs to spritz him. He thought I’d won the lottery such was the hysterical, breathless enthusiasm with which I burst into the kitchen and ran to grasp his wrist. And my haste was well-rewarded; Geranium Nefertum was sexy enough when I had merely sprayed it into the air in my office – on a real person it was positively irresistible.

In my office, it left behind what could only be described as “the aura of an incredibly handsome and capable off-duty secret agent”. It was as though Richard Madden from Bodyguard had briefly entered my office (nearly typed orifice then, that would have been both revealing and embarrassing!), placed a top secret file upon my desk and slipped back out again.

molton brown geranium nefertum review

If I could pull myself together enough to attempt a rudimentary description of the fragrance then I’d say it’s a combination of the two greatest things in the world of scent: fresh fig and sexy, woody (but not oudy – I’m bloody sick of oud at the moment!) base notes. It’s the cleanliness and the freshness of a bright summer morning (riding in the helicopter, post-coital, on your way Crete to MI6 for another de-briefing) mixed with the exotic notes of an undercover mission in a Moroccan souk. The musky notes of a hot man in a white linen shirt, sleeves rolled up to reveal tanned forearms.

Excuse me whilst I reel off a quick chapter of my new erotic novel, written under the pseudonym “Sven Silcock.”

So yes, fresh notes of fig (best scent in the world) with bergamot, geranium and jasmine (they just add a little hit of exotic floral) and sandalwood, oakmoss and labdanum. This is what I imagine Tom Hardy would smell like if they lifted my restraining order long enough for me to sniff him. Again.

And Geranium Nefertum is absolutely not the sort of smell you’d expect from the name. I mean I quite like Geranium, it’s really ok, but it doesn’t fill me with any kind of excitement and it certainly, as an olfactory offering, doesn’t make me want to tear anyone’s clothes off. And what of this Nefertum? I had no idea what Nefertum even was and was forced to use Google.

molton brown geranium nefertum review

Shop the Geranium Nefertum collection*

Turns out Nefertum isn’t a fragrance note, it’s a God. The ancient Egyptian God of perfume and aromatherapy, no less, a role that – if I had the choice – I would definitely opt for, if they were handing out Godships at Ye Ancient Pyramid Club.

“War: who’s up for taking over the God of War role? Brian? Brian! Do you want to be God of war? Righty-ho, here you go. Robes are in the cupboard over there and if you want a crown then dig around in the bottom of the big wicker basket. Thank you Brian, see you next October. You, there – Eileen – Goddess of love, perhaps? Yes I know this is all very stereotypical Eileen, but it’s ancient Egypt. OK, what do we have left… God of the dead, done, God of science, tick tick tick… Jackal-Headed God. Who wants to be the Jackal-Headed God? Donna? Well of course it gets stuffy in there but you can take it off when your shift ends! It’s Jackal Head or the head of a Scarab Beetle? Much of a muchness, role is pretty samey, at the end of the day. Ooh! I forgot about this one – God of perfume and aromatherapy. Anyone? Anyone? Somebody kick Ruth in the shins and wake her up, would you? This one is perfect for her, there’s absolutely no responsibility and she can just lie in the bath all day.”

Back to the present, now, but you get the picture; and actually, I quite like the ancient Egypt reference because there’s something musty and musky and exotic about this fragrance – hot, dusty sand and the faint smell of flowers carrying through the breezeless air.

molton brown geranium nefertum review

It’s at once musty and clean, sweet with florals yet deep with the sandalwood and labdanum and oakmoss. Good grief, it’s marvellous. Just the sort of thing that would make my head turn if I passed someone wearing it – an honour usually reserved for people wearing scents from Le Labo or Byredo, who seem to make most of the fragrances that have a knee-trembly effect on me.

Mr AMR has already nabbed the Geranium Nefertum deodorant*, £20, which is one of those lazy-shower spray-on affairs, but there’s a posher Eau de Toilette* for £69 with greater longevity and (dare I say it) an even more sultry effect.

molton brown geranium nefertum review

And I must apologise, because this is marketed as a unisex fragrance and there is absolutely no reason at all I have banged on about sexy men other than that it smells exactly how you’d want a sexy man to smell. If you like sexy men. If you like sexy women then this will not fail you either – its appeal is absolutely universal.

You can find the new range at Molton Brown here* – it includes body lotion and shower gel as well as the sprays – or LookFantastic here*.

Molton Brown Geranium Nefertum range at Look Fantastic*

DISCLOSURE POLICY. Posts published after 24th January 2019: if the post contains gifted items or affiliate links then it is indicated clearly beneath the title. Posts published prior to this will have a disclosure within the body of the post and then an asterisk * marking all affiliate links. If the content is a paid-for AD then it is marked as an AD in the title. For more information on disclosure please read here. 

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25 Comments

  1. Roger
    July 24, 2019 / 7:40 pm

    Like you I resorted to Google to find out who or what is or was “Nerfertum”.
    But contrary to what you wrote, Nerfertum means nothing.
    The Egyptian god was “Nerfertem”.
    Perhaps this means nothing except someone at MBrown can’t spell!
    Anyway, smells OK to me.

  2. Ajay
    May 27, 2019 / 10:29 pm

    Bought this on the strength of your terrific review without even testing it first and….while I can safely say I have never paid £20 for a deodorant before, I am a total convert. It is gorgeous – everything that is figgy and spicy and great. What other quick spray of a deodorant can make you feel enigmatic, successful, with the best eyebrows in any given room and built-in shoulderpads? I have just started a new job and fully expect to be CEO in the next 6 weeks on the strength of this fragrance. Thanks Ruth!

  3. Sally
    May 26, 2019 / 10:01 am

    After such a brilliant and funny review I was compelled to try and buy at the MB shop in Leeds yesterday! Although I have to disagree slightly with you – to me it’s more Daniel Craig slightly sweaty after chasing a baddie over rooftops!

  4. Angie Churchill
    May 24, 2019 / 8:04 am

    This is quite the most hilarious and entertaining fragrance review I’ve ever seen! And you are absolutely right about fig … nothing beats it. *rushes off to buy everything in the range*

  5. Julie
    May 24, 2019 / 12:29 am

    Oh new fragrance to try! Always on the hunt for a good new fav for the hubby

    • May 24, 2019 / 10:54 am

      It’s fresh and non-oudy which I think is perfect for summer x

  6. Ayse
    May 23, 2019 / 7:40 pm

    I d love to see that erotic novel printed :)))

    • May 24, 2019 / 10:54 am

      I’d be ok until I had to write the actual sex scenes : )

  7. Evelyn
    May 23, 2019 / 4:58 pm

    You are a hoot! Absolutely LOVED the bit about the restraining order to sniff him… again!!! And amid all the humor, the fragrance sounds like something I would really love! You are brilliant and crack me up! Thanks.

  8. Gisela Spencer
    May 23, 2019 / 4:49 pm

    Gawds truth Nefertum Goddess of humor and fast wit. That who you are…good job on the post. I am convincingly intrigued by all the characters who now roam willy nilly in my imagination and the vision of Mr Mystery AMR being swooned unsuspectingly….

    I also must have this fragrance!
    Job Done.

  9. Victoria Perolls
    May 23, 2019 / 11:18 am

    Best. Post. Ever. A hearty round of applause to you, Ruth. x

  10. clare
    May 23, 2019 / 9:34 am

    this review was hilarious and so great to hear someone shares my passion for the scent of fresh fig! (and Richard Madden and Tom Hardy!)

  11. May 23, 2019 / 9:09 am

    This sounds delicious Ruth. Yes to Richard Madden in Bodyguard, yes to Tom Hardy too! Did you actually sniff him before?! You have excellent taste. And yes to rolled up sleeves on forearms! My husband thinks I’m absolutely mad when I appreciate this. As if I’m the only woman who finds rolled up sleeves sexy! Sometimes men are very slow to get what makes us tick…

    • Gisela Spencer
      May 23, 2019 / 4:51 pm

      I concur Jessie

  12. Elena Yeates
    May 23, 2019 / 8:20 am

    Once again you had me smiling and laughing first thing in the morning, thank you :) Looking forward to that novel by Sven :)

    • May 24, 2019 / 10:53 am

      Sven is typing away in the other room x

  13. May 23, 2019 / 6:52 am

    You make the role of the God of Perfume sound very appealing. Exactly the kind of responsibility I would take on right now.

  14. Angela
    May 22, 2019 / 11:09 pm

    Ruth, you are hilarious and a very talented writer! You have given me a few good laughs as I sneakily read this while I should have been doing things to get ready for the school run. Speaking of running, it made me want to run out and have a sniff of this to see if it would suit my husband. Based on your writing I would certainly hope so. Now to find a stockist in Australia, let alone my city…

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