These foot-loving flip flops are the best I've tested...

My feet need support but not at the expense of aesthetics. I still have standards, you know.

People assume the reason my feet are totally knackered is because I spent twelve years as a fashion model. All that cat-walking down the runway in vertical stilettos, standing around on shoots in vertical stilettos, smoking Marlboro Lights out of the agency window, wearing vertical sti - you get the drift.

But no. I spent very little time walking in heels as a fashion model because I was terrible at it. I was the sort of model who excelled at being completely still, at being captured in that one moment in time looking outrageously cool or sultry or whatever it is I was being paid (or not) to be.

So I cannot really blame my feet issues (weird alignment, suspected plantar fasciitis that I have diagnosed via the AI section of Google, crappy weak ankles, etc) on the modelling career. True, I often used to walk 8-10 miles a day shuttling between castings, but there are many jobs where you clock up an insane number of steps each day. Postman. Nurse. Dog walker.

(Although not the dog walker I’ve seen around here who just flings open the back doors of her van and lets all the dogs out into the field, with NO LEADS, and then has a fag leaning on the gate post whilst the dozen or so hounds just gambol over each other and poo everywhere. Twice I’ve spotted her do this, but it’s on a tricky bend, where she parks the van, and I’m always in too much of a hurry to stop and investigate. Do the dog owners know how badly they’re being short-changed? I wonder if the dog walker is the sort that is trusted with all of their clients’ house keys, and lets herself in to fetch the dog and then takes it back afterwards? I can imagine her kicking the front door open, shouting “REX, GET HERE YOU LITTLE FUCKER!” and then booting him back in afterwards with a sedative-infused dog treat.)

Anyway, I did walk a lot when I was a model, but not in the way everyone thinks. No sashaying for me, because if I was forced to wear high heels and move in them I instantly adopted the gait of a newborn T-Rex - casting directors only made that mistake once! - but lots and lots of stomping the pavements in my Adidas Stan Smiths.

I’d go out on a limb here (lol) and say that the damage to my feet was directly caused in my late teen years. A time of my life when quite possibly my joints and bones were just about finishing their growing and fusing, yet I insisted on going out clubbing wearing six inch platform shoes with insubstantial buckles. And then often walked home with no shoes on at all.

(But you just said you had the gait of a newborn T-Rex? And you wore six inch platforms? Yes, I did, but it wasn’t so much of a problem when I was merely jigging my way around Odyssey at 2am holding a triple Archers and lemonade. The stakes tended to be higher when you were walking in front of a few hundred fashion people at - eg - Hugo Boss.)

And then, going back to the damage, I think that possibly years and years of squishing my feet into any sort of footwear I fancied, including pointy-ended things that folded all of my five toes on top of one another so that they formed a weird Quintruple Decker toe sandwich inside the shoe, didn’t do much good.

All this to say: I’ve been testing out special flip flops that offer a bit of extra sole-cushioning and foot support. Havaianas are sadly dead to me, as one singular hour in them the week before last rendered me immobile for almost two days, suffering lightening pains across my soles and an underlying but moderately severe overall ache that reminded me of the time I thought it would be a good idea to park my car on the outskirts of Birmingham and “walk into town”, to a) atone for my drinking sins and b) save myself the parking fee. (Student. Summer of ‘99.)

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Before we start on the flip flops, I must say that my Birkenstock Eva Arizonas (here online) are supremely comfortable and have a slightly moulded sole that is a million miles away from the totally flat sole of a classic flip-flop. But I have grown a bit weary of their chunky looks and practical aesthetic: what I wanted was a bit more skin on show. A little moment for my pedicure to shine. (Even though it’s a very old pedicure now and the nail polish is hanging off the ends of my toes unattractively, but the sentiment is there.)

I wanted the casual, careless, throw-on footwear of my youth, invoking memories of beach bars and riding around the streets of heatwave Paris on the backs of scooters (yikes) but I wanted this footwear to offer moral, emotional and physical support for my forty-five year-old feet.

Fitflop iQushion flip flops in Bronze

First through the gate: FitFlop Flip Flops. They were my first port of call, seeing as though my most-worn trainers are FitFlop, my ballet flats are Fitflop and various other sandals and casual shoes. Surely their flip flops would be the best you could get?

I ordered the iQushion, crafted with special ergonomic technology, in my usual size -UK6. Colour: a lovely soft bronze. How dismayed I was to find that they were so small I couldn’t get my whole foot in! I reordered in a 7. Black. No bronze left. Still a little on the small size, but I thought it would be ridiculous to size up to an 8!

Now what I will say about the iQushion is that they are a cut above your usual flip flop. A properly engineered sole that bounces you along, clever shaping that supports the arch almost imperceptibly, and a lovely slender flip flop strap that looks chic and fashionable. The whole shoe (if you can call it that) feels more sleek and refined than its competitors. (Namely Archies, Croc, Oofos. Though perhaps not as sleek as Crocs, see below.)

FitFlop iQushion flip flops in Bronze.

What’s stopping the FitFlop iQushion from being the best overall supportive flip flop and allowing me to simply finish the review right here and go to bed?

The toe post.

Oh, the toe post. Now I’m sure after a few weeks I’d get used to it, but the completely vertical positioning of this post meant that it was permanently wedged right up into the space between my toes. A constant annoyance.

And I probably would have put up with it, or ridden it out, had I not on the same day slipped on a pair of Archies, the arch-supporting flip flop brand that must be spending 50% of their profits on re-marketing via the social media platforms.

Archies Arch Support Flip Flops in Pink

Never have I seen so many adverts for one product (apart from maybe Celeste d’Or bras, and those reusable eco pan scourers) but let me tell you that they targeted me at precisely the right time.

I had been researching comfy sandals and flip flops for about a week when all of a sudden about sixteen thousand Archies ads landed in front of my eyes in the space of an hour. I must admit I was swayed mostly by the fact that Jennifer Aniston owns three pairs of them, because I love a bit of Rachel from Friends, but also the millions of reviews saying that these flip flops were the comfiest sandals on earth, bar none.

I clicked, I bought, I slipped them on, and boy were they instantly the absolute dream. Archies look almost exactly like Havaianas, or any standard flip-flops, except that they have a big lump moulded into the sole where the arch of the foot should be. It’s slightly weird, the sensation of the foot lump- it feels more like a foot mountain at first - but I imagine that the flatter your foot, or the more fallen the arch, the more you feel the mountain?

Apart from that weird feeling, it was immediate love. Something about the shaping of the sole seems to guide the foot into an optimum position, so that as you walk along your feet aren’t flapping around all over the shop, side to side, up and down, they’re firmly positioned on the sole, with the straps of the flip flop laying securely over the top and the toe post (which is slanted) comfortably in place.

After a week or so of Archies wear, I’m wondering how I ever coped with a totally flat flip flop sole. The idea of it is almost absurd, considering my foot limitations: walking around with two flaps of rubber on the bottoms of my feet, held on by toe scrunching and positive thoughts.

Oh - that’s another thing. No toe-scrunching required at all for the Archies. The foot settles in, the flip flop seems to mould to the foot, everything is solid and secure and comfy.

They’re the winner, for sure, though if FitFlop fixed the toe post (just slant it slightly!) it would be incredibly close, if not a draw. FitFlop with its narrower strap just looks sexier.

I know you’ll pipe up and say “OOFOS!” “Crocs!” but I have examined both, just to cover all bases, and the Oofos are too chunky for this particular brief. The Crocs, though very sleek and stylish-looking, don’t have quite as much arch support. (They would probably be my winner if I didn’t need the extra foot-shaping sole - I love the shape of them!)

So there we have it. Archies are currently saving the day, giving me something non-foot-destroying that’s sleeker and more minimalist to wear with my floaty dresses and linen trousers than the plastic Birkenstocks. Are flip flops ever going to be the podiatrist’s favourite shoe? I doubt it. But if you must (I must!) then these feel like a great option.

You can buy them direct from Archies here and from Amazon here. They’re £35 and there are loads of colours. I’m about to order the dark brown, because I went rogue and did bright pink for my review (I always seem to be drawn to plastic sandals in bubblegum pink!) and they look a bit juvenile with my nice, modern sundresses.

The Fitflop are here - I would definitely size up. I’d size up in the Archies, too, though I found Archies to be more generous.

One thing, before I go: quite a lot of people slipped into my Instagram DMs to say they find their flip flops very noisy. I didn’t really know what to say to this. You’re basically slapping two pieces of thick rubber at the floor with the entire force of your bodyweight, what can I tell you? You’re never going to take someone by surprise with these on…