Sh*tfit of the Day: The Christmas Eve Shop

empty oxford street

Who does their shopping on Christmas Eve? I’ll tell you who. Mr AMR. Me. Both of us, dashing in and out of the emptying shops, frantically calling one another for progress reports and irritable exchanges. I have no idea why we always end up shopping on Christmas Eve but have a suspicion that it might be down to lack of organisation. There’ll always be someone “popping by” for whom we have bought nothing, not even a card, and the only card left in “the drawer” is a dog-eared, coffee-stained Santa face with cat hairs stuck to his glitter beard.

This Christmas Eve Shop (CES) will have to cease – I can’t do many more years of it. It ruins Christmas, being stuck in queues, sandwiched between people’s wet, steaming wool coats and having the corners of paper bags jabbed into your shins. The cons of CES definitely outweigh the pros – there is only one pro and that is the fact that the shops now begin reducing everything in price before Christmas has even passed. Paid £90 for that dressing gown? HAAAA! It’s now £30, which means that it cost £2.12 to make. Cons include the fact that you’re having to do anything strenuous whatsoever on Christmas Eve, and the fact that whatever you buy (unless it’s reduced, see previous) would have been about a tenth of the price had you planned ahead and ordered it on Amazon. Merry Christmas!

Is it appropriate to be ranting on Christmas Eve? I have no idea, but you must be sick to death of twee posts about snow and cake, surely? I tell you what, I’ll do a post tomorrow and make sure it’s twee, then we’re all happy. If you’re reading this in the evening then you’re probably sat smugly by your log fire, iPad in hand, drinking mulled wine and watching The Christmas Carol. But if you do find yourself out shopping then please say hello – I’ll be the one with a thunderous look buying up all of the Hello Kitty Liberty-print sets in Boots.

Until tomorrow, Dear Readers – don’t go doing anything untoward with Santa. He doesn’t do “favours”, I’ve tried.

(Thanks for the image to bellabellex.blogspot.com)

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