This is where I’m supposed to write “how time flies!” “I can’t believe Ted is a year old already!” or “it seems like only yesterday that Ted was a tiny newborn wrapped in a little blanket!” But actually, the past year has felt exactly like a year.
Perhaps it’s because so many other things have happened at the same time as having a new baby. We sold our house, had a house purchase fall through, moved over a hundred miles from London-ish to Bath because we had nowhere to live and our friend had his rental house untenanted, found a new house to buy and relocated again to the depths of Somerset. Ted’s first year has taken place against a backdrop of constant house viewings and piles of packing boxes – with Angelica, each little development stage melded into the next before we could even blink, but with Ted, I can remember the first time he smiled (second viewing of the house in Epping Forest), the first time he took a bottle of formula (front bedroom of the rented house in Bath) and the first time he stood unaided (in the living room of our new home). When I think of him as a tiny newborn, I think of some of the crazy journeys we did in the car to go and view houses in Essex, in Suffolk, on the north Norfolk coastline, in Oxfordshire, in Buckinghamshire. What the hell were we doing? How did we end up here?
So yes, perhaps the constant stressful activity has meant that the year has gone by at a steadier pace, with a myriad of memories to mark each passing month. Or maybe it’s possible that I was forewarned about the speed at which the first baby year tends to go by and made a conscious decision to savour it more, to really take note of changes and developments. To appreciate every tiny moment, even if that tiny moment was being at the very end of my tether – acknowledging it, committing it to memory.
Whatever, a year has gone by and here I am with a one year old and a two-and-seven-ish-months old. And it’s great fun. I mean exhausting (I had no idea that such a constant feeling of tiredness was something that existed) but on the days that I crave a few hours for myself, I also find myself itching to just have a peek and see what they are both up to. Trying to eat crayons, or making a beeline for the most dangerous electrical wire they’ve managed to sniff out.
This update takes a slightly different format to usual because I’m off out to dinner! We’ve had a little mini party for Ted with cake and grandparents (they were attending, we didn’t eat them) and now we are going to be all social with adult people which – quite frankly – terrifies me. Sometimes I feel as though I’ve forgotten how to effectively communicate with people my own age. I say stupid, inappropriate things at the wrong time but then after stressing about it and having those dark, paranoid moments, I realise that they probably weren’t stupid or inappropriate at all and that it’s likely nobody was listening to me anyway.
So yes, we’re off out and there may be wine, so I’m not banking on being able to write this later. I also feel as though I’ve covered quite a lot of what would have been in this update in my sleep posts (find them here and here) and as some of my Angelica updates are in upcoming posts, you’re not missing anything if I just show you – brace yourselves – a pictorial representation of the past twelve months.
This time exactly a year ago I was in absolute agony after my c-section (I vommed straight after my stitches had been done and it was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced – you can read my birth story here) but I had the most beautiful brand new baby beside me. (Honestly, I was so drugged up I could barely recognise my baby, but you’re not supposed to say that are you? Ha.) Here’s how he’s grown into a solid, cheeky little one year old – with some photos of Angelica thrown in for good measure! (She can have a mammoth photo post in June, when she’s three.)
Well that’s the longest page I’ve ever produced on here! Well done if you made it to the bottom. See you in the next update…