Tooth Whitening Things

Mr AMR and I have been on a bit of a testing mission recently, looking at all kinds of toothpastes that promise to whiten and brighten. My dental hygienist swears that no toothpaste can actually whiten your teeth, they just remove stains, but every little helps, surely? I hate that overblown, whiter-than-white Hollywood look – I think that too white looks a bit ridiculous. But it’s nice to have teeth that look clean and fresh and a bit sparkly rather than manky and yellow, so the testing has been carried out with much enthusiasm.

I can’t promise you any kind of sensible information on the versions that Mr AMR tested – he finds it impossible to commit to one definite statement, so just try and de-code where possible.

1) Blanx: £5.23 at Mr AMR’s personal favourite. When asked why, he said, “perhaps it’s psychosomatic, but I just feel like it’s working.” I said, “how do you know? Did you track your progress with the little chart that came with it? The one with the varying shades of yellow and white?” No, nothing so scientific as that. He just “felt like it worked.”

2) Arm & Hammer: £2.60 from This is my personal all-time favourite. My dental hygienist had a heart attack when I told her that I used the bicarbonate of soda version – I have no idea why! – but I continue to stock up on Arm & Hammer when I’m in the supermarché. I think that this one does a marvellous job and I also enjoy the burning sensation when using it. It’s as though every nerve ending inside my mouth is being blasted with a blow-torch. Extreme, but effective for eliminating dragon breath. What does Mr AMR think about Arm & Hammer? “It’s cheap. It looks cheap. Blanx looks scientific, this just looks like toothpaste.” Sigh.

3) Retardex: £6.12 from This isn’t a whitening product at all, but I have struggled in the past for a place to mention it and this is the most relevant post! A weird one, this mouthwash, because it’s both clear and tasteless yet it really does work to keep breath fresh. Mr AMR’s comment on it? “What if you drank the whole bottle thinking it was water?” Somebody, please give me some strength.

4) Yotuel: I have only quite recently started testing this one. It’s a new excitement, let’s say. I like that it looks posh – much posher than the others, except for perhaps the Blanx. It apparently helps to repair tooth enamel and strengthen the teeth as it whitens, using carbamide peroxide to whiten and then a load of other shebang to stop the tooth enamel from weakening. It’s apparently very low abrasion, but God knows how low it can be when you’re using Mr AMR’s toothbrush! It’s a new one from Costco and it almost takes your teeth out it’s so powerful! It gives me a headache.

Yotuel is available as a co-buy on Buyapowa on Monday, apparently. Obviously I have no idea what the co-buy price will drop to, but if you fancy buying this at a much cheaper price, you can pre-register your interest and Buyapowa email you when the product goes live! Here’s the page:

Favourite whiteners, everyone? Let me know! I’m always looking to add to my research. I haven’t tried the whitening strips, but probably should do.. I find that the best whitener of all is simply going to the dentist and having one of those excruciatingly long and boring cleaning sessions. Probably better for your teeth and gums, too!

(Nice white tooth image is courtesy of Danilo Rizzuti at Free Digital Photos. His portfolio is:

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