Bring Back 80s Christmas / 5 Excellent Things I’ve Bought This Year

Wow, do I feel the fool. Exactly one week ago to the day I complained about how everyone starts wanging on about Autumn far too early and that we’re still pretty much in the throes of summer - Summer’s End, I named it - and that “anyone in front of a roaring fire wearing cashmere bedsocks and clasping a mug of cocoa was completely deranged”.

Well guess who was in her winter coat by Monday, kicking through piles of fallen leaves and wondering whether it was time to pop the heating on?

Last Thursday’s post did not age well. Although, to be fair, when I wrote it I was referring to the month of September as a whole, and how I’d started to see content for “the cosy season” popping up almost the minute I got off the plane from my summer holidays at the end of August: the sentiment was there, my timing was just unfortunate.

I also complained about people starting to get excited about Christmas too early, but I stand by that one. Every year I get complaints about my helpful Christmas gift advice because, apparently, it comes far too late - mid-November - when most people have done all of their shopping, have wrapped the presents, pre-cooked the food and pretty much pre-lived the entire holiday season before it has even happened.

The problem with this approach, in my opinion - with being too much of an early bird - is that you run out of steam. It becomes overwhelming and tedious. I’ve met people who are so bored of Christmas by the time it’s Christmas that they take the tree down on Boxing Day! But they’ve had the tree up since October!

I might be mis-remembering this, so correct me if I’m wrong, but in the eighties didn’t we start Christmas excitement on the 1st December, which was when we opened the first door on the advent calendar? I just don’t recall there being such a massive build-up.

Eighties Christmas went something like this: open first door on the advent calendar on day one; at some point in the first week go to local park with a hacksaw to nick a Christmas tree, bring it back on a sledge (because, festive); week two start making list for Santa, practice recorder songs for school nativity; week three admire the hazardous outdoor light display on the house one road over, which uses a myriad of extension cables and wires and bulbs that absolutely do not look suited to outdoor light displays, evidenced by the way they have sparks flying from them and there’s a long scorch mark up the end wall of the house where one cable has caught fire but luckily has been doused out by the driving rain; end of week three start absolutely wetting yourself with excitement at the idea of Christmas, but to the point where you almost cannot control yourself, especially when you see that someone has bought a Yule Log and hidden it behind the bread bin, WAH! and that Granny has sent a Christmas Cake with little plastic green spiky Christmas trees stuck into the snowy top, you don’t even like Christmas cake but IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!; 23rd December put yourself virtually into a coma from over-excitement and the fact you went to someone’s house and they had the red cherry-flavoured Panda Pop and you were allowed two cups of it and all the (possibly now-banned) food colourings in it sent you doolally; 24th December food shopping, The Snowman, midnight mass.

Have I got that more or less correct? I mean, set it all to a background of Benson & Hedges cigarette smoke and Wham’s Last Christmas played on repeat, but we’re pretty much there, are we not? Oh my God, the absolute THRILL of there being more things on the telly than usual. Films! The Box of Delights! That was a terrifying old series, wasn’t it, considering it was aimed at kids!

See? Genuine excitement. Less was more. And everyone still managed to get a present, and have the turkey ready (no baths for a day beforehand because the bird was defrosting in the tub) and the shops didn’t run out of sprouts. Or not that I remember. Bring back the 80s Christmas, that’s what I say.

Anyway, it’s far too early to be talking about Christmas, but I have started to make my little content plans and lists. It takes me at least six weeks to get my act together and film something once I’ve hatched a plan and so it’s very important that I begin to mull things over with enough time to spare.

I also have to read a lot, in this six week prepping period, because I have to select my book picks for the annual Books and Chocs feature, which is where I create the ultimate “thoughtful, stylish gift that won’t break the bank” by pairing together amazing books with snazzy bars of chocolate.

(You can read last year’s here, to see what an earth I’m on about. It’s not something to miss, I can tell you that. All of your presents sorted, even for your most discerning of friends: you’ll look very trendy and kind - and also wise - for very little effort and expense.)

But to get to the entire point of this post, because so far we’ve time travelled back to the eighties, covered off unsafe electrical installations and touched upon the complexities of turkey defrosting: when I was drafting some of my Christmas content lists, I realised that there were a few excellent things that kept popping up again and again when I was thinking about best buys and what to recommend. Here, just for you, are five of them. They’re not at all Christmassy, really, which is why I’m posting them now and not on December 19th.

Lexon Flip Alarm Clock

I bought this to stop me from scrolling on my iPhone for hours, last thing at night and first thing in the morning. The phone goes in a different room, the alarm clock wakes me up. Simple but surprisingly effective at freeing up a bit of time that would otherwise be pointlessly spent.

The satisfying thing about this clock - and it’s a design icon, apparently - is that you flip it over to set the alarm and back again to turn the alarm off. Don’t be alarmed (lol) by the little rattling noise inside, it’s part of the mechanism. So old-school.

I love mine. I especially love the way it looks with its brushed gold metal casing. It has been worth every penny.

Online here.

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Soft Ribbed Crop from Boody

For the times you want to be bra-less but also not. This is so soft, this bra top, it just gives very light support to stop the old wangers from swinging about all over the shop, but you could sleep in it if you so desired. It’s part of my “at home” uniform now, along with slippers, cashmere jogging bottoms and a big fluffy cardigan. (One step up from a dressing gown.) I’ve just bought one in another colour.

Online here.

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Archies Flip Flops

I am evangelical about these flip flops. They have a contoured sole that has a sort of “hill” where the arch of the foot is, so gives support and makes the whole experience far comfier than it strictly should be. Not only is the foot more supported, it somehow keeps the flip flop in place so that it doesn’t slide about and because you’re not scrunching your toes, or constantly pushing your foot forward to keep the strap on, the toe post doesn’t dig in.

I haven’t been able to wear normal flip flops for years (something about them being just a flat piece of rubber precariously attached to your person via a strip of uncomfortable plastic) but wore these for the entire summer. I have them on now, because I’ve just been to collect a parcel from my gate. Which sounds like an easy task, but to get to my gate I have to descend a long set of steps and then pick my way down a moss-covered driveway that has the same approximate gradient as an indoor climbing wall, ie vertical, all whilst shouting out “I’m on my way! I’m here! Don’t drive off!”

So yeah. I put these Archies through their paces, let me tell you. I also jogged in them. Not on purpose, as in, went jogging and decided they’d be the most appropriate footwear choice, but accidentally jogged. When I realised I’d left my iPhone on the seat of my car in the car park and had visions of someone immediately smashing my car window with a brick to get it which would have been a right pain. I didn’t just jog, I jogged enthusiastically. And the Archies stayed on.

I sized up to a UK7 from a UK6/6.5.

Online here.

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World’s Best Earplugs

Every year I try out some new earplugs, because I like to stay on top of things when it comes to the earplug market (niche area of expertise, that!) and every year I end up re-purchasing my diehard favourites, the Sleep Deep from Alpine. I think I’ve tried just about every type going, from Loop ones to the type that you shape out of wax, from industrial strength safety ones to little silicone buds with stalks on.

The thing is, I want to deaden some noise - snoring, dog coughing, pheasants making a racket at 6am - but I don’t want that sensory deprivation effect where all you can hear is your own mortality. Where the ear plugs are so strong they form a sort of vacuum inside your own head.

The Alpine Sleep Deep are very soft, block out exactly the noises I want to block, but leave me just about able to hear my alarm in the morning and anything massively urgent that might otherwise crop up. I’ve never had a comfier fit and they are easy to insert and remove.

How many times have I bought these? Countless. They last me about half a year of nightly use before they just seem a bit minging and/or the dog eats them and I happily replace them each time.

I am hugely noise intolerant, especially when it comes to inconsiderate sounds, like people playing videos through their phone speakers etc, and so I often wear these on public transport or if I’m trying to write and need total concentration. Get the multipack of earplugs with two different sizes and see which fits you best - I used to only use the small size, but I actually found that the medium gives me slightly better noise blocking!

Online here.

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Peleton Barre and Sculpt 30 Classes

This is a recurring purchase - I’ve been paying for my Peloton membership for six years now, and I don’t even want to calculate what that adds up to - but in the past six months or so it has really come into its own.

I mentioned a while back that I’d had knee issues, and I really need to get a proper post written because it might be a helpful one, but for the moment suffice to say I had to change my exercise routine. Routine makes it sound as though I take my fitness very seriously: nothing could be further than the truth. In fact, the whole reason I started with Peloton in the first place was because I could do twenty minutes intense exercise on a spin bike, in my own home, and then forget about it for 48 hours. I liked the fact it required no extra effort other than the exercise itself: no practical or logistical hurdles, like driving to a gym or not being able to find my trainers or sports bra, all of those things that would absolutely put me right off and give me an excuse not to do anything at all.

And so for five and a bit years, I did high intensity cycling every 48 hours - one day on, one day off - with no other kind of exercise at all, other than walking. No strength training, no squats, no yoga, no nothing. As it turned out this was not great for my knees. I managed to over-develop a very specific set of muscles (they would have rivalled Hulk Hogan’s) but then the rest of my leg muscles by comparison were like weak little saplings, and by the start of this year my knees (right knee especially) were so bad that I was having to climb stairs sideways, like a crab.

Went to see a physio, got some exercises to do, which helped enormously, but at the same time I thought it might be a good idea to go easy on the cycling and find some classes that used all of the muscles rather than just a few. (My legs had basically turned into pistons.) And this is where the Peloton app came into its own. I had never used it before, outside of the Peloton bike, where it is ever-present on the large attached screen.

If you’ve never delved in before, Peloton have thousands of classes (and add loads each day, you can join in live or just take the classes on demand) and there’s a real continuity to them, in the way that they’re filmed and the formats that they use, everything down to the lighting and the equipment. It’s very well done and makes you feel as though you’re part of an exciting mega-gym, when in fact you haven’t left home. You become very familiar with your favourite instructors, and it’s all just so easy. I have no bad words to say about it other than their search function and search filters can be abysmal, and that the entry price of the bikes and treadmills are steep.

(Though I would say that my bike has more than paid for itself compared to a proper gym membership and then there’s also the fact that I’ve actually used it multiple times a week for that many years. Not like the two year gym membership at London Liverpool Street Virgin Active I had, when I went twice. In two years. There’s no competition.)

Anyway, I discovered Barre classes on the Peloton app. I access it on my laptop and perch the laptop on the sofa in the kitchen, then I roll out my mat and get to it. Total commute “to class”, twenty seconds.

I have loved doing the Barre classes. They’re toning and conditioning classes that vaguely use ballet moves, and they make your legs burn and your arse muscles feel as though someone has set fire to them and when you do the core section you do briefly feel as though you’d like to disappear from the earth immediately just to make the pain disappear.

It’s short and intense - I do the thirty minute classes with Hannah Corbin - but I have never toned up so quickly. I mean, I haven’t actually tried to tone up since approx 2006, but this was a welcome little side-effect of me trying to stay fit and not further knacker up my knees. Lots of my physio exercises were the exact moves used in Barre (clamshells, curtsey lunges, etc) and the class was much more fun than just standing there on my own, in silence, doing sumo squats.

My new-new discovery is Sculpt 30, a cross between Barre and Pilates - it’s like Barre but supercharged. I find it quite difficult and often scream. But so satisfying! And half an hour later, you’re done!

I have tummy muscles again! And I can lunge up a hill, so long as nobody is watching. (Did this the other day in Dorset, thinking I was alone, but actually had a spectator and it was mortifying.)

So the Peloton membership has been one of my best purchases of the year. Recurring. Not a new purchase, an ongoing one, but never has it been more appreciated.

If you have the Peloton app and want to try a Sculpt 30 class, I just did this one here. It was killer. If you want membership, and don’t have a Peloton bike or treadmill, then I think it starts at about £12 a month. They have everything from yoga to proper weight lifting classes to HIIT classes, pilates classes and running. Meditation, light weights classes for arms, all sorts of stuff.

I’m a fan, obviously - my Peloton bike has been one of my best life investments, despite my knee thing. But the knee thing’s on me. I should have noticed when my quads grew bigger than tree trunks!

The Peloton membership options are here.

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