Funny

Nightgowns, Fire Escapes and "Giving It An Airing"

I’ve been searching for a new nightdress.

May 11 •

Boiling Badger Skulls: Is This How We've Stayed Married?

‘Auntie Jean’s* been having apparitions,’ I said to Rich, as we merrily munched our way through a Dickinson’s Pork Pie.

Mar 21 •

I Nearly Died and Everyone Just Stepped Over Me

Illness in your forties doesn’t seem as straightforward as it did in the younger years.

Oct 11, 2024 •

The Medieval Lunch

I must apologise for the tardiness of this post, which should have been a Friday delivery but is, in fact, winging its way to you on a Monday.

Sep 30, 2024 •

The Latex Slug Head

Most random Amazon (Randomazon) purchase of the month: a latex slug’s head.

Sep 10, 2024 •

Captain's Log: Don't Say Cock in the Countryside

I have a feeling that my neighbours overheard a small snippet of conversation I was having with my husband that, taken out of context, is slightly…

Sep 6, 2024 •

Comfort Zones are there for a Reason...

...why we shouldn't ever leave them.

Aug 30, 2024 •

I Guess I Shave My Face Now

I wrote a blog post last year about facial de-fuzzing and the perils of taking the plunge.

Aug 20, 2024 •

Accidental Penetration and the Fibreglass Cow: Do You Know Me Better Now?

I always intended to kick off my Substack with a series of posts that would serve as a sort of introduction.

Aug 6, 2024 •

There’s only a month, now, until my book - How Not to be a Supermodel - is published.

Jul 30, 2024 •

Death (Almost) By Seagull

I always thought that I’d handle a family emergency with some degree of poise, a modicum of grace.

Jul 23, 2024 •

Gucci Intense Oud: If Jafar Wore Scent

This was supposed to primarily be a beauty and lifestyle Substack newsletter (all the things the model recommends!) but so far, five posts in, I haven’t…

Jul 16, 2024 •

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